2003-08-31
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF TRIGUN
Once upon a time, I was a cartoon character. Not just any cartoon character, I was an anime version of myself. Which meant I had HUGE fricken' eyes. I don't know exactly how this happened, but I was just going to go with it.
So I was walking along by my anime-self, sorta wondering how to get back to reality-land and if I even wanted to. But mostly I was thinking ‘Ooooh... cartoony goodness‘. Indeed, being in a living cartoon was neat in a trippy sorta way. I spent about an hour doing this (hence, leaving me with only 23 hours left to go. Hm... where the heck did that thought come from?) before I finally realised that I should at least be questioning why and how I had become an anime character.
“Wait a second!!” I exclaimed, stopping suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. This caused several people behind me to plough into me. They then proceeded to stumble and fall. Then they all glared at me anime-style. I blushed and apologized profusely, all the while trying not to laugh at how funny their faces were. Then I remembered that I had had a thought. Possibly a pertinent one. What are the odds?!?
Finally I looked up at the sky - (why, I don’t exactly know. I guess I liked the dramatic effect) - and asked of no one in particular “Why am I an anime character and how did this happen??”
“KARMA!!” boomed a somewhat familiar, disembodied voice.
“Huh?!?”
“YOU DID NOT DO THE TANNIS_TANCHI BLOG COMPETITION IN TIME. THEREFORE YOUR PENNANCE IS TO ACTUALLY SPEND A DAY INSIDE AN ANIME STORYLINE AND SUFFER!!!!”
“Huh. Well, I guess that’s fair... except not.” I scratched my head. “Is this God?”
There was a short pause, followed by a booming “YES, IT IS.”
“Huh. That’s strange. ‘Cause you see, you sound kind of like my friend Carla.”
Longer pause. “MERELY COENCIENDENTAL, I ASSURE YOU.”
I frowned, placing my hands on my hips. “It’s Carla, isn’t it.”
Pause. “Well, yes,” she admitted in her normal voice. “But I’m so darned close to being God that I didn’t think anyone would notice.”
“Good point. But I saw through your dastardly charade,” I exclaimed, as I puffed myself up with pride. (And then had a very odd mental image of me being attached to a cylinder marked ‘PRIDE’ and being blown up like a balloon. Note to self, lay off the Amoxicillin.)
“Well played, Beauchemin, well played,” Carla conceded, blissfully oblivious to the odd Theresa-balloon image I’d just had.
“Uh... so I know the why... but the question remains: HOW did you guys get me into an anime?”
“Tannis and Lynnsey helped.”
“Uh... that still doesn’t answer my question...”
“NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!” Carla thundered.
“Uh okay,” I said meekly, cowering behind that black cat that shows up in every Trigun episode. “Actually, I have just one more.”
“SIGH! Fine, what is it?”
“I know this is only going to last 24 hours. How much time to I have left?”
“Exactly 23 hours.”
“Wait a sec!! I had slightly less than 23 hours to go before this conversation even started!! How does that work?”
Carla paused, and I could just picture the smug smile on her face as she stated gleefuly “I froze time. I mean, this would be a really boring story if you spent most of it arguing with me. Which, you do realise, that you could have made everything so much better if you hadn’t made me just a disembodied voice. That way, people could see the wonderfulness that is me.”
“Wonderfulness my butt. I didn’t want the judges to run away screaming at the crippling mental images that descriping your face would invoke!” I shot back.
“I hate you.”
“Feeling’s mutual, disembodied Carla!!” I shouted, shaking my fist at the sky.
“Excrement,” she exclaimed. “Well, I’m going now.”
“But I’m not finished telling you off!!” I screamed. Then I noticed that time had unfrozen, and people were staring at me. I blushed once more then whirled around, intent on getting away from there as fast as possible. It would have been a great plan, except I ran full-force into someone.
“AHH!!” I said
“AIIEE!!” the person said.
Once upon a time, I was a cartoon character. Not just any cartoon character, I was an anime version of myself. Which meant I had HUGE fricken' eyes. I don't know exactly how this happened, but I was just going to go with it.
So I was walking along by my anime-self, sorta wondering how to get back to reality-land and if I even wanted to. But mostly I was thinking ‘Ooooh... cartoony goodness‘. Indeed, being in a living cartoon was neat in a trippy sorta way. I spent about an hour doing this (hence, leaving me with only 23 hours left to go. Hm... where the heck did that thought come from?) before I finally realised that I should at least be questioning why and how I had become an anime character.
“Wait a second!!” I exclaimed, stopping suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. This caused several people behind me to plough into me. They then proceeded to stumble and fall. Then they all glared at me anime-style. I blushed and apologized profusely, all the while trying not to laugh at how funny their faces were. Then I remembered that I had had a thought. Possibly a pertinent one. What are the odds?!?
Finally I looked up at the sky - (why, I don’t exactly know. I guess I liked the dramatic effect) - and asked of no one in particular “Why am I an anime character and how did this happen??”
“KARMA!!” boomed a somewhat familiar, disembodied voice.
“Huh?!?”
“YOU DID NOT DO THE TANNIS_TANCHI BLOG COMPETITION IN TIME. THEREFORE YOUR PENNANCE IS TO ACTUALLY SPEND A DAY INSIDE AN ANIME STORYLINE AND SUFFER!!!!”
“Huh. Well, I guess that’s fair... except not.” I scratched my head. “Is this God?”
There was a short pause, followed by a booming “YES, IT IS.”
“Huh. That’s strange. ‘Cause you see, you sound kind of like my friend Carla.”
Longer pause. “MERELY COENCIENDENTAL, I ASSURE YOU.”
I frowned, placing my hands on my hips. “It’s Carla, isn’t it.”
Pause. “Well, yes,” she admitted in her normal voice. “But I’m so darned close to being God that I didn’t think anyone would notice.”
“Good point. But I saw through your dastardly charade,” I exclaimed, as I puffed myself up with pride. (And then had a very odd mental image of me being attached to a cylinder marked ‘PRIDE’ and being blown up like a balloon. Note to self, lay off the Amoxicillin.)
“Well played, Beauchemin, well played,” Carla conceded, blissfully oblivious to the odd Theresa-balloon image I’d just had.
“Uh... so I know the why... but the question remains: HOW did you guys get me into an anime?”
“Tannis and Lynnsey helped.”
“Uh... that still doesn’t answer my question...”
“NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!” Carla thundered.
“Uh okay,” I said meekly, cowering behind that black cat that shows up in every Trigun episode. “Actually, I have just one more.”
“SIGH! Fine, what is it?”
“I know this is only going to last 24 hours. How much time to I have left?”
“Exactly 23 hours.”
“Wait a sec!! I had slightly less than 23 hours to go before this conversation even started!! How does that work?”
Carla paused, and I could just picture the smug smile on her face as she stated gleefuly “I froze time. I mean, this would be a really boring story if you spent most of it arguing with me. Which, you do realise, that you could have made everything so much better if you hadn’t made me just a disembodied voice. That way, people could see the wonderfulness that is me.”
“Wonderfulness my butt. I didn’t want the judges to run away screaming at the crippling mental images that descriping your face would invoke!” I shot back.
“I hate you.”
“Feeling’s mutual, disembodied Carla!!” I shouted, shaking my fist at the sky.
“Excrement,” she exclaimed. “Well, I’m going now.”
“But I’m not finished telling you off!!” I screamed. Then I noticed that time had unfrozen, and people were staring at me. I blushed once more then whirled around, intent on getting away from there as fast as possible. It would have been a great plan, except I ran full-force into someone.
“AHH!!” I said
“AIIEE!!” the person said.
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