2004-01-28
Topic of the day: Emergency service my 455!!
CAA memberships are supposed to get you emergency 24hour road-side assistance. That's what the ads all claim. I've had a CAA membership for a few years now, and have never had to use it until last night. All I can say to that is 'Thank GOD!'
I had left school at midnight last night with the intention of going home. Go to my car, la la la, unlock door (lock was a tad frozen, but didn't pose any real difficulty), sat down in the car and put the key in the ignition. Engine whirred a bit and lights went on, but the car didn't start. Hmm... let's try this again, then. Keep in mind that the car had been sitting out since 8:30 that morning. Yes, for 15.5 hours. Also keep in mind that I had my car plugged in the WHOLE time, so I didn't quite understand why it would have such a hard time starting. Is simple: Cold weather makes battery go all freezy. Plug car in... battery remains unfreezy. Or it should. But mine didn't. Evil battery.
Well, of course, there's only one thing to do. Go into the school and phone for help. I was worried for a little bit there, because both doors that I'd tried were locked. But a security guy happened to be there and he let me in. So, that's that.
Then comes the question of who to call. Hm... it's midnight, car won't work, want to go home and sleep NOW... let's phone mommy. First thing she says is 'why didn't you phone CAA?' Now I'm pissed. So fine, I tell her to forget about it, I'll phone CAA for their emergency roadside assistance. Soon afterwards, I was forced to remember EXACTLY why I didn't phone CAA.
The phone rings, and rings... and then it's picked up. By a machine. Who says 'We're all busy now, but the next available operator will get to you.' Yuh uh. And then it plunks in all these ads 'Use CAA for travel planning, book a cruise through CAA, get the CAA mastercard'... NO BITCHES!! The bloody reason I got CAA in the first place was so that you guys could help me out if I EVER GET STUCK IN MY CAR!!! Now, I understand that winter is a very, VERY busy season for them... and so do they. So they should PLAN things a bit better and have WAY more operators around that time of year. I personally think there's something wrong with being stuck somewhere at midnight and having to wait on the phone A BLOODY HOUR just to finally hear a human voice.
The whole time I'm cursing the mechanical voices who do the ads, thinking 'You fuckers' each time that voice comes on saying 'Your call is important to us' and imagining a lonely desk in a shabby room somewhere with a phone on it that has me in the queue. And no one's answering that phone. Yep. Nice mental image. Call CAA... great bloody idea, mom. Thanks for coming to pick me up, mom. *grumble grumble censored censored censored*
Yeah. When I finally get the human voice, I ask how long it'll take for a service truck to come out. Only about four or five hours, as it turns out. Hm... No thank you, I'd like to get home before 6 AM!! Turns out you also can't make appointments for peoples to come out and see your car. Why not? My car's OBVIOUSLY not going anywhere... I'm OBVIOUSLY going to need it sometime. If, by some miracle, I DO happen to get my car started before you guys come (Hell, I could probably build a car with MY BARE HANDS by the time CAA comes to the rescue) I'll phone you and CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT!!!! *sigh* was not happy last night.
So, at 1 am, I decide to call a cab to come get me. Thankfully, they're not CAA... they'll send someone over in 10 - 12 minutes. That's WAY better than 4 - 5 hours. But NOW my mom chooses this time to show up. After I'd already waited for an hour and was convinced she wouldn't come. Thanks a bloody lot. Cancelled the cab... to no avail. I guess he pulled into the parking lot while I was turning back to tell them not to come, 'cause when I went back to the doors, I saw a cab pulling out of the parking lot. grr... was not happy, and was VERY vocal about it.
So, it's about 1:45 when I get home... much later when I get to sleep 'cause someone has a light on down the hall, people keep coming in and out of the house... was NOT happy this morning.
Now get this... calling CAA this afternoon, I got through in 15 mins. I was expecting an insanely long wait... I'd planned on making tea, making lunch, sitting down to a book... all with a phone to my ear. Nope. The person answered quickly (yay) and I was so distracted that I forgot about my eggs on the stove. Don't worry... Mel saved them. YAY FOR MEL!!
Yeah... CAA would send someone over to my car... at around 10:30 - 11:00 pm. At best, 9 hours later. Well, as far as my class schedual goes, this was perfect. All I had to do was find a garage to take the car to. Turns out Mel has a mechanic friend (again... YAY FOR MEL!!) who was more than willing to help me out. He even went to my car to try and get it started. And worked on it for well over an hour. And got it working!! YAY FOR OLLIE!! He's my new hero. And FUCK CAA!! So, I guess I had to phone them back to cancel the appointment.
It took me a half hour to even get to the QUEUE!! Every time I phoned it was TOTALLY busy... operators busy, queue full... try again later and good luck. After that point, it didn't take long to cancel the appointment. For some reason, the wait to CANCEL a service call is WAY shorter than the one to request aid. Huh... I wonder why. At least this time, the machine voice lady was telling people 'Yeah... we suck right now. We're way too busy for you, so try somewhere else and we'll maybe, possibly reimburse you if you phone the right people and sleep with our manager, are related to one of our operators, bribe at least 20 others, beg, plead, promise to name your first child after us and worship the dark lord. And when we say "dark lord" we mean "Paul Martin".' Emergency road-side assistance MY ASS!
What if it had been a REAL emergency?? What if someone left a baby in the car and ONLY had the number for CAA. I can just see that now
*ring ring goes the phone*
Lady: *frantic* Oh, god... please help me... I've locked my baby in the car!!
Phone machine voice: Thank you for calling CAA. If you need assistance, press 1. If you are planning a vacation, press 2. If you are phoning because you are a bastard and want to tie up the phone lines, press FUCK OFF!!
Lady: Please, please, I need help.
Phone voice: blah blah Advertisement blah blah Call is important blah blah blah (repeat for one hour)
Real actual person voice: Hello, how can I help you.
Lady: Please... I've left my baby in the car.
Real actual person voice: Uh huh... we'll have someone there in 7 to 8 hours.
Lady: but you DON'T understand! It's an EMERGENCY.
R.A.P.V: Uh huh. 7 to 8 hours.
*7 to 8 hours later*
CAA truck driving man: Ah, hello ma'am. How can I help you.
Lady: OPEN MY FUCKING CAR DOOR!!
CAA truck driving man: Okey dokey.
* 5 seconds later*
CAA truck driving man: Well, doors open. My, what a nice baby-shaped ice sculpture you have here. Wow... it looks almost life like!!
Lady: *sobbing hysterically*
CAA truck driving man: *oblivious. Damned men!!* There there, no need for tears of joy, ma'am. Just doing my duty. Well, it's a lucky thing it's so cold out. Otherwise, your baby-shaped ice sculpture would have melted by now. Well, bye bye now!! *walks away whistling*
Yeah... I can just see that.
La la la rant rant rant rant. And I'm spent.
CAA memberships are supposed to get you emergency 24hour road-side assistance. That's what the ads all claim. I've had a CAA membership for a few years now, and have never had to use it until last night. All I can say to that is 'Thank GOD!'
I had left school at midnight last night with the intention of going home. Go to my car, la la la, unlock door (lock was a tad frozen, but didn't pose any real difficulty), sat down in the car and put the key in the ignition. Engine whirred a bit and lights went on, but the car didn't start. Hmm... let's try this again, then. Keep in mind that the car had been sitting out since 8:30 that morning. Yes, for 15.5 hours. Also keep in mind that I had my car plugged in the WHOLE time, so I didn't quite understand why it would have such a hard time starting. Is simple: Cold weather makes battery go all freezy. Plug car in... battery remains unfreezy. Or it should. But mine didn't. Evil battery.
Well, of course, there's only one thing to do. Go into the school and phone for help. I was worried for a little bit there, because both doors that I'd tried were locked. But a security guy happened to be there and he let me in. So, that's that.
Then comes the question of who to call. Hm... it's midnight, car won't work, want to go home and sleep NOW... let's phone mommy. First thing she says is 'why didn't you phone CAA?' Now I'm pissed. So fine, I tell her to forget about it, I'll phone CAA for their emergency roadside assistance. Soon afterwards, I was forced to remember EXACTLY why I didn't phone CAA.
The phone rings, and rings... and then it's picked up. By a machine. Who says 'We're all busy now, but the next available operator will get to you.' Yuh uh. And then it plunks in all these ads 'Use CAA for travel planning, book a cruise through CAA, get the CAA mastercard'... NO BITCHES!! The bloody reason I got CAA in the first place was so that you guys could help me out if I EVER GET STUCK IN MY CAR!!! Now, I understand that winter is a very, VERY busy season for them... and so do they. So they should PLAN things a bit better and have WAY more operators around that time of year. I personally think there's something wrong with being stuck somewhere at midnight and having to wait on the phone A BLOODY HOUR just to finally hear a human voice.
The whole time I'm cursing the mechanical voices who do the ads, thinking 'You fuckers' each time that voice comes on saying 'Your call is important to us' and imagining a lonely desk in a shabby room somewhere with a phone on it that has me in the queue. And no one's answering that phone. Yep. Nice mental image. Call CAA... great bloody idea, mom. Thanks for coming to pick me up, mom. *grumble grumble censored censored censored*
Yeah. When I finally get the human voice, I ask how long it'll take for a service truck to come out. Only about four or five hours, as it turns out. Hm... No thank you, I'd like to get home before 6 AM!! Turns out you also can't make appointments for peoples to come out and see your car. Why not? My car's OBVIOUSLY not going anywhere... I'm OBVIOUSLY going to need it sometime. If, by some miracle, I DO happen to get my car started before you guys come (Hell, I could probably build a car with MY BARE HANDS by the time CAA comes to the rescue) I'll phone you and CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT!!!! *sigh* was not happy last night.
So, at 1 am, I decide to call a cab to come get me. Thankfully, they're not CAA... they'll send someone over in 10 - 12 minutes. That's WAY better than 4 - 5 hours. But NOW my mom chooses this time to show up. After I'd already waited for an hour and was convinced she wouldn't come. Thanks a bloody lot. Cancelled the cab... to no avail. I guess he pulled into the parking lot while I was turning back to tell them not to come, 'cause when I went back to the doors, I saw a cab pulling out of the parking lot. grr... was not happy, and was VERY vocal about it.
So, it's about 1:45 when I get home... much later when I get to sleep 'cause someone has a light on down the hall, people keep coming in and out of the house... was NOT happy this morning.
Now get this... calling CAA this afternoon, I got through in 15 mins. I was expecting an insanely long wait... I'd planned on making tea, making lunch, sitting down to a book... all with a phone to my ear. Nope. The person answered quickly (yay) and I was so distracted that I forgot about my eggs on the stove. Don't worry... Mel saved them. YAY FOR MEL!!
Yeah... CAA would send someone over to my car... at around 10:30 - 11:00 pm. At best, 9 hours later. Well, as far as my class schedual goes, this was perfect. All I had to do was find a garage to take the car to. Turns out Mel has a mechanic friend (again... YAY FOR MEL!!) who was more than willing to help me out. He even went to my car to try and get it started. And worked on it for well over an hour. And got it working!! YAY FOR OLLIE!! He's my new hero. And FUCK CAA!! So, I guess I had to phone them back to cancel the appointment.
It took me a half hour to even get to the QUEUE!! Every time I phoned it was TOTALLY busy... operators busy, queue full... try again later and good luck. After that point, it didn't take long to cancel the appointment. For some reason, the wait to CANCEL a service call is WAY shorter than the one to request aid. Huh... I wonder why. At least this time, the machine voice lady was telling people 'Yeah... we suck right now. We're way too busy for you, so try somewhere else and we'll maybe, possibly reimburse you if you phone the right people and sleep with our manager, are related to one of our operators, bribe at least 20 others, beg, plead, promise to name your first child after us and worship the dark lord. And when we say "dark lord" we mean "Paul Martin".' Emergency road-side assistance MY ASS!
What if it had been a REAL emergency?? What if someone left a baby in the car and ONLY had the number for CAA. I can just see that now
*ring ring goes the phone*
Lady: *frantic* Oh, god... please help me... I've locked my baby in the car!!
Phone machine voice: Thank you for calling CAA. If you need assistance, press 1. If you are planning a vacation, press 2. If you are phoning because you are a bastard and want to tie up the phone lines, press FUCK OFF!!
Lady: Please, please, I need help.
Phone voice: blah blah Advertisement blah blah Call is important blah blah blah (repeat for one hour)
Real actual person voice: Hello, how can I help you.
Lady: Please... I've left my baby in the car.
Real actual person voice: Uh huh... we'll have someone there in 7 to 8 hours.
Lady: but you DON'T understand! It's an EMERGENCY.
R.A.P.V: Uh huh. 7 to 8 hours.
*7 to 8 hours later*
CAA truck driving man: Ah, hello ma'am. How can I help you.
Lady: OPEN MY FUCKING CAR DOOR!!
CAA truck driving man: Okey dokey.
* 5 seconds later*
CAA truck driving man: Well, doors open. My, what a nice baby-shaped ice sculpture you have here. Wow... it looks almost life like!!
Lady: *sobbing hysterically*
CAA truck driving man: *oblivious. Damned men!!* There there, no need for tears of joy, ma'am. Just doing my duty. Well, it's a lucky thing it's so cold out. Otherwise, your baby-shaped ice sculpture would have melted by now. Well, bye bye now!! *walks away whistling*
Yeah... I can just see that.
La la la rant rant rant rant. And I'm spent.
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