2003-08-31
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF TRIGUN
Once upon a time, I was a cartoon character. Not just any cartoon character, I was an anime version of myself. Which meant I had HUGE fricken' eyes. I don't know exactly how this happened, but I was just going to go with it.
So I was walking along by my anime-self, sorta wondering how to get back to reality-land and if I even wanted to. But mostly I was thinking ‘Ooooh... cartoony goodness‘. Indeed, being in a living cartoon was neat in a trippy sorta way. I spent about an hour doing this (hence, leaving me with only 23 hours left to go. Hm... where the heck did that thought come from?) before I finally realised that I should at least be questioning why and how I had become an anime character.
“Wait a second!!” I exclaimed, stopping suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. This caused several people behind me to plough into me. They then proceeded to stumble and fall. Then they all glared at me anime-style. I blushed and apologized profusely, all the while trying not to laugh at how funny their faces were. Then I remembered that I had had a thought. Possibly a pertinent one. What are the odds?!?
Finally I looked up at the sky - (why, I don’t exactly know. I guess I liked the dramatic effect) - and asked of no one in particular “Why am I an anime character and how did this happen??”
“KARMA!!” boomed a somewhat familiar, disembodied voice.
“Huh?!?”
“YOU DID NOT DO THE TANNIS_TANCHI BLOG COMPETITION IN TIME. THEREFORE YOUR PENNANCE IS TO ACTUALLY SPEND A DAY INSIDE AN ANIME STORYLINE AND SUFFER!!!!”
“Huh. Well, I guess that’s fair... except not.” I scratched my head. “Is this God?”
There was a short pause, followed by a booming “YES, IT IS.”
“Huh. That’s strange. ‘Cause you see, you sound kind of like my friend Carla.”
Longer pause. “MERELY COENCIENDENTAL, I ASSURE YOU.”
I frowned, placing my hands on my hips. “It’s Carla, isn’t it.”
Pause. “Well, yes,” she admitted in her normal voice. “But I’m so darned close to being God that I didn’t think anyone would notice.”
“Good point. But I saw through your dastardly charade,” I exclaimed, as I puffed myself up with pride. (And then had a very odd mental image of me being attached to a cylinder marked ‘PRIDE’ and being blown up like a balloon. Note to self, lay off the Amoxicillin.)
“Well played, Beauchemin, well played,” Carla conceded, blissfully oblivious to the odd Theresa-balloon image I’d just had.
“Uh... so I know the why... but the question remains: HOW did you guys get me into an anime?”
“Tannis and Lynnsey helped.”
“Uh... that still doesn’t answer my question...”
“NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!” Carla thundered.
“Uh okay,” I said meekly, cowering behind that black cat that shows up in every Trigun episode. “Actually, I have just one more.”
“SIGH! Fine, what is it?”
“I know this is only going to last 24 hours. How much time to I have left?”
“Exactly 23 hours.”
“Wait a sec!! I had slightly less than 23 hours to go before this conversation even started!! How does that work?”
Carla paused, and I could just picture the smug smile on her face as she stated gleefuly “I froze time. I mean, this would be a really boring story if you spent most of it arguing with me. Which, you do realise, that you could have made everything so much better if you hadn’t made me just a disembodied voice. That way, people could see the wonderfulness that is me.”
“Wonderfulness my butt. I didn’t want the judges to run away screaming at the crippling mental images that descriping your face would invoke!” I shot back.
“I hate you.”
“Feeling’s mutual, disembodied Carla!!” I shouted, shaking my fist at the sky.
“Excrement,” she exclaimed. “Well, I’m going now.”
“But I’m not finished telling you off!!” I screamed. Then I noticed that time had unfrozen, and people were staring at me. I blushed once more then whirled around, intent on getting away from there as fast as possible. It would have been a great plan, except I ran full-force into someone.
“AHH!!” I said
“AIIEE!!” the person said.
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
Once upon a time, I was a cartoon character. Not just any cartoon character, I was an anime version of myself. Which meant I had HUGE fricken' eyes. I don't know exactly how this happened, but I was just going to go with it.
So I was walking along by my anime-self, sorta wondering how to get back to reality-land and if I even wanted to. But mostly I was thinking ‘Ooooh... cartoony goodness‘. Indeed, being in a living cartoon was neat in a trippy sorta way. I spent about an hour doing this (hence, leaving me with only 23 hours left to go. Hm... where the heck did that thought come from?) before I finally realised that I should at least be questioning why and how I had become an anime character.
“Wait a second!!” I exclaimed, stopping suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. This caused several people behind me to plough into me. They then proceeded to stumble and fall. Then they all glared at me anime-style. I blushed and apologized profusely, all the while trying not to laugh at how funny their faces were. Then I remembered that I had had a thought. Possibly a pertinent one. What are the odds?!?
Finally I looked up at the sky - (why, I don’t exactly know. I guess I liked the dramatic effect) - and asked of no one in particular “Why am I an anime character and how did this happen??”
“KARMA!!” boomed a somewhat familiar, disembodied voice.
“Huh?!?”
“YOU DID NOT DO THE TANNIS_TANCHI BLOG COMPETITION IN TIME. THEREFORE YOUR PENNANCE IS TO ACTUALLY SPEND A DAY INSIDE AN ANIME STORYLINE AND SUFFER!!!!”
“Huh. Well, I guess that’s fair... except not.” I scratched my head. “Is this God?”
There was a short pause, followed by a booming “YES, IT IS.”
“Huh. That’s strange. ‘Cause you see, you sound kind of like my friend Carla.”
Longer pause. “MERELY COENCIENDENTAL, I ASSURE YOU.”
I frowned, placing my hands on my hips. “It’s Carla, isn’t it.”
Pause. “Well, yes,” she admitted in her normal voice. “But I’m so darned close to being God that I didn’t think anyone would notice.”
“Good point. But I saw through your dastardly charade,” I exclaimed, as I puffed myself up with pride. (And then had a very odd mental image of me being attached to a cylinder marked ‘PRIDE’ and being blown up like a balloon. Note to self, lay off the Amoxicillin.)
“Well played, Beauchemin, well played,” Carla conceded, blissfully oblivious to the odd Theresa-balloon image I’d just had.
“Uh... so I know the why... but the question remains: HOW did you guys get me into an anime?”
“Tannis and Lynnsey helped.”
“Uh... that still doesn’t answer my question...”
“NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!” Carla thundered.
“Uh okay,” I said meekly, cowering behind that black cat that shows up in every Trigun episode. “Actually, I have just one more.”
“SIGH! Fine, what is it?”
“I know this is only going to last 24 hours. How much time to I have left?”
“Exactly 23 hours.”
“Wait a sec!! I had slightly less than 23 hours to go before this conversation even started!! How does that work?”
Carla paused, and I could just picture the smug smile on her face as she stated gleefuly “I froze time. I mean, this would be a really boring story if you spent most of it arguing with me. Which, you do realise, that you could have made everything so much better if you hadn’t made me just a disembodied voice. That way, people could see the wonderfulness that is me.”
“Wonderfulness my butt. I didn’t want the judges to run away screaming at the crippling mental images that descriping your face would invoke!” I shot back.
“I hate you.”
“Feeling’s mutual, disembodied Carla!!” I shouted, shaking my fist at the sky.
“Excrement,” she exclaimed. “Well, I’m going now.”
“But I’m not finished telling you off!!” I screamed. Then I noticed that time had unfrozen, and people were staring at me. I blushed once more then whirled around, intent on getting away from there as fast as possible. It would have been a great plan, except I ran full-force into someone.
“AHH!!” I said
“AIIEE!!” the person said.
Felt like doing a quiz. Well, here it is.
chucky
What Slasher Movie Killer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm a doll. I'm a frickin doll with a cracked face? Why can't I be someone cool? Oh, wait. I've never been someone cool. Still, why couldn't I have gotten someone like Freddy in this quiz? I know, I could always go back and fix the answers, but that would be wrong. Well, toodles.
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
chucky
What Slasher Movie Killer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm a doll. I'm a frickin doll with a cracked face? Why can't I be someone cool? Oh, wait. I've never been someone cool. Still, why couldn't I have gotten someone like Freddy in this quiz? I know, I could always go back and fix the answers, but that would be wrong. Well, toodles.
2003-08-30
Well, long time, no post. And for this, I have a perfecly logical explaniation. I have SEVERAL, actually. Here they are.
1) Internet stopped working for awhile. Damn internet.
2) Eventually got one computer hooked up to internet, then that computer died. Damn computer.
3) Laziness. Damn laziness.
4) I've been under the influence of drugs and writhing in pain the past few days. Damn extraction of impacted wisdom teeth.
5) My computer went all screwy and I had to press any key to resume operations. After several hours of searching, I discovered that there IS no 'any' key on my keyboard. IT'S FAULTY!! So, you know, I had to pack up the keyboard, take it back and all that. And of course the computer people tried to screw me over by insisting nothing was wrong and feeding me all this crap about 'There's not actually an 'any' key on the keyboard, it just means hit 'any key you want' in order to continue.' Yeah, right. Well, they had no idea who they were dealing with... Boducky is WAY to smart to fall for that.
** By the way, for those who don't know me well, that whole 'reason number five' was a load of crap. I KNOW there's no 'any' key. Hey, I needed to fit in some insanity SOMEHOW.
So, why did I decide to finally update my blog today? I dunno. Today seemed like a good day. And I'm happy to announce that, for the first time since Wednesday, I am wearing actual CLOTHES!! Uh... not that I've been naked for the past three days. Let me start again. *gets out eraser, erases that whole last paragraphe, realises that erasers don't work on computer screens, is too lazy to push 'delete' button*
So, going merrily along... what I MEANT to say was that I have changed OUT OF my pyjamas and INTO actual clothes for the first time since Wednesday. There, that sounds better, doesn't it.
In other news, I'd just like to say 'WELCOME BACK!!' to my peeps Carla and Tannis. Poor Tannis isn't feeling well (not sure about Carla's status... hope she's doing okay) so here's a great big cyber glomp* to Tannis, because I want you to get well soon. And here's a glomp** for Carla, 'cause you're so glompable luv. Or rather, Sow. It had to be said.
Also, my buddy Lynnsey's going to a wedding or something tomorrow. (No, not her own. I haven't proposed yet. What can I say, I have committment issues. Plus, I'm still waiting for James Marsters to wake up, realise he's hopelessly in love with me, come riding up to my doorstep on a white stallion and take me away from this awful AWFUL place.) To Lynnsey, I say 'Have fun at the wedding. Drink a few beers for me. Then drive home." Kidding. Listen, kiddies, this is BODUCKY saying "Don't drink and drive!!" *Pauses meaningfully, looks into the camera, smiles and winks* Huh... camera? What camera?!? *turns, looks over her shoulder, sees someone pointing a video camera at her*
No, NO!! How many times have I told you... you CAN'T make a porn video if I'm not naked. What?? NO, I'm not taking my clothes off! I'm busy here... I'm writing my blog post. Besides, my cheeks are all swollen and puffy... I'd look like Jabba the Hutt. What?? NO, people really DON'T want to see Jabba the Hutt porn. WHAT?!?! They DO?!?!?!?! Uh...... leave now, your scaring me and any poor soul who may happen to read this post. *anonymous video camera person leaves* Whew. Well, that's all for today... I'll just go now. Did I mention I'm on drugs???
** Glomp = a hug with homocidial tendencies. If done properly, the glomper can render the glompee unconscious or, on rare occasions, even KILL them. For more info, see www.thehistoryglomping-relateddeaths.thissitedoesn'texist.com
* Cyber glomp = it's cyber, so the thought is there, but no one gets hurt. Cyber glomps: all the glompy goodness with none of the glompy pain. If you care, cyber. (glomp, that is)
And I'm spent.
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
1) Internet stopped working for awhile. Damn internet.
2) Eventually got one computer hooked up to internet, then that computer died. Damn computer.
3) Laziness. Damn laziness.
4) I've been under the influence of drugs and writhing in pain the past few days. Damn extraction of impacted wisdom teeth.
5) My computer went all screwy and I had to press any key to resume operations. After several hours of searching, I discovered that there IS no 'any' key on my keyboard. IT'S FAULTY!! So, you know, I had to pack up the keyboard, take it back and all that. And of course the computer people tried to screw me over by insisting nothing was wrong and feeding me all this crap about 'There's not actually an 'any' key on the keyboard, it just means hit 'any key you want' in order to continue.' Yeah, right. Well, they had no idea who they were dealing with... Boducky is WAY to smart to fall for that.
** By the way, for those who don't know me well, that whole 'reason number five' was a load of crap. I KNOW there's no 'any' key. Hey, I needed to fit in some insanity SOMEHOW.
So, why did I decide to finally update my blog today? I dunno. Today seemed like a good day. And I'm happy to announce that, for the first time since Wednesday, I am wearing actual CLOTHES!! Uh... not that I've been naked for the past three days. Let me start again. *gets out eraser, erases that whole last paragraphe, realises that erasers don't work on computer screens, is too lazy to push 'delete' button*
So, going merrily along... what I MEANT to say was that I have changed OUT OF my pyjamas and INTO actual clothes for the first time since Wednesday. There, that sounds better, doesn't it.
In other news, I'd just like to say 'WELCOME BACK!!' to my peeps Carla and Tannis. Poor Tannis isn't feeling well (not sure about Carla's status... hope she's doing okay) so here's a great big cyber glomp* to Tannis, because I want you to get well soon. And here's a glomp** for Carla, 'cause you're so glompable luv. Or rather, Sow. It had to be said.
Also, my buddy Lynnsey's going to a wedding or something tomorrow. (No, not her own. I haven't proposed yet. What can I say, I have committment issues. Plus, I'm still waiting for James Marsters to wake up, realise he's hopelessly in love with me, come riding up to my doorstep on a white stallion and take me away from this awful AWFUL place.) To Lynnsey, I say 'Have fun at the wedding. Drink a few beers for me. Then drive home." Kidding. Listen, kiddies, this is BODUCKY saying "Don't drink and drive!!" *Pauses meaningfully, looks into the camera, smiles and winks* Huh... camera? What camera?!? *turns, looks over her shoulder, sees someone pointing a video camera at her*
No, NO!! How many times have I told you... you CAN'T make a porn video if I'm not naked. What?? NO, I'm not taking my clothes off! I'm busy here... I'm writing my blog post. Besides, my cheeks are all swollen and puffy... I'd look like Jabba the Hutt. What?? NO, people really DON'T want to see Jabba the Hutt porn. WHAT?!?! They DO?!?!?!?! Uh...... leave now, your scaring me and any poor soul who may happen to read this post. *anonymous video camera person leaves* Whew. Well, that's all for today... I'll just go now. Did I mention I'm on drugs???
** Glomp = a hug with homocidial tendencies. If done properly, the glomper can render the glompee unconscious or, on rare occasions, even KILL them. For more info, see www.thehistoryglomping-relateddeaths.thissitedoesn'texist.com
* Cyber glomp = it's cyber, so the thought is there, but no one gets hurt. Cyber glomps: all the glompy goodness with none of the glompy pain. If you care, cyber. (glomp, that is)
And I'm spent.
