2004-01-31
Today's Topic: STORY TIME!!!
"So, what did you guys figure out from the wounds on the body, Fred?" asked Angel as he brooded behind his desk.
"Basically, that this monster's really strong to have been able to inflict that kind of damage," she replied. Placing her glasses on, she rifled through a folder. "The slash marks were inflicted with really nasty claws. But there were also some ancient runes burned into the victim's skin."
"Any headway on that, Wesely?" Angel inquired.
"As of this moment, no." The former watcher frowned in frustration. "At first, they appeared to be ancient sanskrit writing, but that whole theory got shot to hell."
"One thing's for sure... this monster is serious bad news," Gunn stated. "We should kill it as quickly as possible."
Spike, having chosen that exact moment to saunter into the room, collapsed his leather-clad form onto an equally leather-clad couch and smirked. "Thank you, Mr. Obvious. Why, you've saved us all!! Horray!" Everyone looked at him. "You got that I was being sarcastic... right?"
"Get out of here, Spike," Angel snapped dismissivly. "Can't you see we have more important things to... Excuse me?? Who are you and what are you doing here??" he inquired, looking over at a complete stranger standing in his doorway. Without a single word of explaination, the interloper made her way across his office and behind his desk. Suddenly...
*SMACK*
"Ow!!" Angel yelped. He had a seriously pissed-off expression on his face. "What was that for??" The others, all of them utterly confused, just stood and stared at this odd individual. Except for Spike. He was still busy laughing at his sire.
It has started... it's too late to go back now. SLAP-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD-WOMAN stood in the face of her first, and therefore deadliest as of yet, nemisis. But her staunch courage and sense of right would not allow her to back down now. The job wasn't pretty, but someone had to do it. She stared down her adversary and stated cooly...
"Surely, you concede, you deserved that." I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.
"Uh... why?" He looked around for help, but no one offered any. Spike was still too busy laughing.
"Because you whine too much, sit and brood too much. And your hair is REALLY stupid," I remarked. "Someone had to do it."
"'Bout bloody time!" muttered Spike.
"Uh... I really think," Wesely started. Suddenly...
*SMACK*
"Ow!"
"That's for not telling Fred how you feel about her."
"But I told..."
*SMACK*
"You IMPLIED it," I grumped. "It's not the same. And stop bitching about the fact that you killed a robot that looked like your father. It WASN'T your father, dammit. Your real father would never have put you in that situation. So shut up about it!"
Then, out of the corner of her eye, our hero notices another of her nemisiseseseses... stupid word...
"But enough of that. You're being bloody stupid, Wesely, as far as these matters are concerned. Anyways, Fred finally really does realise that you're crazy about her."
*SMACK*
"Muh?!?" yelped Fred in surprise and pain.
"You're crazy about him. You know it. You're just being all indecisive and coy and STUPID!! Just hook up with him already and save yourselves a lot of trouble!"
At which point, Gunn decides to interject. "Uh... you realise this is my ex-girlfriend and my friend your talking about?"
*SMACK*
"Not that it matters, really," he amended sheepishly. "Don't care that much."
"No, this is for letting Wolfram and Hart screw around with your brain. Moron," I sniffed dismissively.
"Uh... why is no one stopping her from hitting us?" Lorne piped up finally.
"Because this is bloody funny!" Spike grinned.
"Yep!" I chirpped. Then I made my way over to the couch.
"Hold it there, ducks," Spike warned, jumping up from the couch. "Unlike these bloody pansies, I'm not going to sit here and let you slap me 'round."
"Actually, that wasn't really on my mind," I said calmly. Then I blushed, my cool demenor melting away like a snowman in hell. "I just wanted a hug. You're so hot."
He blinked for a moment, then smirked. "Don't see why not." He held out a hand to me, and just then Angel interrupted.
"Is my hair really stupid??" he whimpered, with a kicked-puppy look on his face.
"YES!" Spike and I shouted together. "Now shut up and let me hug Spike!!" I stepped into him, wrapping my arms around him and snuggling into his chest for a moment.
"Yep. You certainly give good hug."
"And don't you forget it, ducks."
Of course, stupid Lorne had to bring me back to reality by saying, "Uh... that was cute and disturbing and confusing."
*SMACK*
"That's for ruining my hug. And stop fucking around with your sleep!"
"Ow."
"Hey, boss? What's going on in here?" Harmony stepped in. Was it just me, or was it getting blonder in here?? Well, since she was here.
I only half heard Angel answering "I really don't know" as I walked towards Miss Vampirically Blonde. She was ignoring me at the moment, which gave me the perfect opportunity to strike.
*SMACK*
"OUCH!" she shrieked. "Hey, boss, she hit me!!"
"That's for whining too much and moping around about no one appreciating you. You have to work hard to earn appreciation. And if that doesn't work then you just go to your boss, smack him upside the head and say to him 'Look here, bitch, it's about time you paid me some goddamned respect around here. RESPECT MY FUCKING AUTHORITAH!!' And then you smack him upside the head again and threaten to quit!!"
Everyone just looked at me and blinked. "Hey, do you think that would really work??" the vampiress whispered conspiratorly.
"As long as your boss doesn't stake you. I'm still alive and kicking, so I think chances for you are pretty good!" Harmony pulled away with a thoughtful look on her face. I, for one, was really amazed that she could manage such a look.
"Well," I said, surveying the room. "Is there anyone else I have to smack? Maybe that guy Fred works with in the lab, but I don't feel like looking for him. Well, my work here is done." I walked up to Spike and gave him another brief hug. So I couldn't help myself. He's my Kryptonite. Plus, you can feel his abs through his shirt. Major grins for me!!
"Bye cutie!" I said as I pulled away.
"Bye ducks. Thanks for brightening my day," he grinned.
"No problem."
*SMACK*
"BLOODY 'ELL!!" He roared. "What was that for??"
I shrugged, even though he was tossing me a murderous glare. "Sorry, hun, but you deserved it. It is my sacred duty to dole out smacks to those who are deserving, regardless of how much I like them."
"Sacred duty??" Wesely asked. "Wha..."
"Well, not really. But it sounds a lot better than just saying that I do simply because I want to and I can."
Spike rubbed his head. "Still," he asked petuntantly, "What was that for??"
"Stop fucking around with Harmony's feelings. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more people to smack upside the head. Bye all!" I waved cheerily and dashed out of the room.
"What the hell was that??" Gunn asked, scratching his head.
"I REALLY don't want to know," Fred sighed. "Let's just forget this ever happened."
"Is my hair REALLY stupid??"
"YES IT BLOODY IS, YOU POOF!!"
*** In next week's adventures, SMACK-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD-WOMAN travels to America to dole out smacks to George Bush, current president of the United States. I'll also try to get everyone who voted for him. Wish me luck!! *smiles, winks and gives the camera the thumbs-up sign*
Hm... that sucked.
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
"So, what did you guys figure out from the wounds on the body, Fred?" asked Angel as he brooded behind his desk.
"Basically, that this monster's really strong to have been able to inflict that kind of damage," she replied. Placing her glasses on, she rifled through a folder. "The slash marks were inflicted with really nasty claws. But there were also some ancient runes burned into the victim's skin."
"Any headway on that, Wesely?" Angel inquired.
"As of this moment, no." The former watcher frowned in frustration. "At first, they appeared to be ancient sanskrit writing, but that whole theory got shot to hell."
"One thing's for sure... this monster is serious bad news," Gunn stated. "We should kill it as quickly as possible."
Spike, having chosen that exact moment to saunter into the room, collapsed his leather-clad form onto an equally leather-clad couch and smirked. "Thank you, Mr. Obvious. Why, you've saved us all!! Horray!" Everyone looked at him. "You got that I was being sarcastic... right?"
"Get out of here, Spike," Angel snapped dismissivly. "Can't you see we have more important things to... Excuse me?? Who are you and what are you doing here??" he inquired, looking over at a complete stranger standing in his doorway. Without a single word of explaination, the interloper made her way across his office and behind his desk. Suddenly...
*SMACK*
"Ow!!" Angel yelped. He had a seriously pissed-off expression on his face. "What was that for??" The others, all of them utterly confused, just stood and stared at this odd individual. Except for Spike. He was still busy laughing at his sire.
It has started... it's too late to go back now. SLAP-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD-WOMAN stood in the face of her first, and therefore deadliest as of yet, nemisis. But her staunch courage and sense of right would not allow her to back down now. The job wasn't pretty, but someone had to do it. She stared down her adversary and stated cooly...
"Surely, you concede, you deserved that." I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.
"Uh... why?" He looked around for help, but no one offered any. Spike was still too busy laughing.
"Because you whine too much, sit and brood too much. And your hair is REALLY stupid," I remarked. "Someone had to do it."
"'Bout bloody time!" muttered Spike.
"Uh... I really think," Wesely started. Suddenly...
*SMACK*
"Ow!"
"That's for not telling Fred how you feel about her."
"But I told..."
*SMACK*
"You IMPLIED it," I grumped. "It's not the same. And stop bitching about the fact that you killed a robot that looked like your father. It WASN'T your father, dammit. Your real father would never have put you in that situation. So shut up about it!"
Then, out of the corner of her eye, our hero notices another of her nemisiseseseses... stupid word...
"But enough of that. You're being bloody stupid, Wesely, as far as these matters are concerned. Anyways, Fred finally really does realise that you're crazy about her."
*SMACK*
"Muh?!?" yelped Fred in surprise and pain.
"You're crazy about him. You know it. You're just being all indecisive and coy and STUPID!! Just hook up with him already and save yourselves a lot of trouble!"
At which point, Gunn decides to interject. "Uh... you realise this is my ex-girlfriend and my friend your talking about?"
*SMACK*
"Not that it matters, really," he amended sheepishly. "Don't care that much."
"No, this is for letting Wolfram and Hart screw around with your brain. Moron," I sniffed dismissively.
"Uh... why is no one stopping her from hitting us?" Lorne piped up finally.
"Because this is bloody funny!" Spike grinned.
"Yep!" I chirpped. Then I made my way over to the couch.
"Hold it there, ducks," Spike warned, jumping up from the couch. "Unlike these bloody pansies, I'm not going to sit here and let you slap me 'round."
"Actually, that wasn't really on my mind," I said calmly. Then I blushed, my cool demenor melting away like a snowman in hell. "I just wanted a hug. You're so hot."
He blinked for a moment, then smirked. "Don't see why not." He held out a hand to me, and just then Angel interrupted.
"Is my hair really stupid??" he whimpered, with a kicked-puppy look on his face.
"YES!" Spike and I shouted together. "Now shut up and let me hug Spike!!" I stepped into him, wrapping my arms around him and snuggling into his chest for a moment.
"Yep. You certainly give good hug."
"And don't you forget it, ducks."
Of course, stupid Lorne had to bring me back to reality by saying, "Uh... that was cute and disturbing and confusing."
*SMACK*
"That's for ruining my hug. And stop fucking around with your sleep!"
"Ow."
"Hey, boss? What's going on in here?" Harmony stepped in. Was it just me, or was it getting blonder in here?? Well, since she was here.
I only half heard Angel answering "I really don't know" as I walked towards Miss Vampirically Blonde. She was ignoring me at the moment, which gave me the perfect opportunity to strike.
*SMACK*
"OUCH!" she shrieked. "Hey, boss, she hit me!!"
"That's for whining too much and moping around about no one appreciating you. You have to work hard to earn appreciation. And if that doesn't work then you just go to your boss, smack him upside the head and say to him 'Look here, bitch, it's about time you paid me some goddamned respect around here. RESPECT MY FUCKING AUTHORITAH!!' And then you smack him upside the head again and threaten to quit!!"
Everyone just looked at me and blinked. "Hey, do you think that would really work??" the vampiress whispered conspiratorly.
"As long as your boss doesn't stake you. I'm still alive and kicking, so I think chances for you are pretty good!" Harmony pulled away with a thoughtful look on her face. I, for one, was really amazed that she could manage such a look.
"Well," I said, surveying the room. "Is there anyone else I have to smack? Maybe that guy Fred works with in the lab, but I don't feel like looking for him. Well, my work here is done." I walked up to Spike and gave him another brief hug. So I couldn't help myself. He's my Kryptonite. Plus, you can feel his abs through his shirt. Major grins for me!!
"Bye cutie!" I said as I pulled away.
"Bye ducks. Thanks for brightening my day," he grinned.
"No problem."
*SMACK*
"BLOODY 'ELL!!" He roared. "What was that for??"
I shrugged, even though he was tossing me a murderous glare. "Sorry, hun, but you deserved it. It is my sacred duty to dole out smacks to those who are deserving, regardless of how much I like them."
"Sacred duty??" Wesely asked. "Wha..."
"Well, not really. But it sounds a lot better than just saying that I do simply because I want to and I can."
Spike rubbed his head. "Still," he asked petuntantly, "What was that for??"
"Stop fucking around with Harmony's feelings. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more people to smack upside the head. Bye all!" I waved cheerily and dashed out of the room.
"What the hell was that??" Gunn asked, scratching his head.
"I REALLY don't want to know," Fred sighed. "Let's just forget this ever happened."
"Is my hair REALLY stupid??"
"YES IT BLOODY IS, YOU POOF!!"
*** In next week's adventures, SMACK-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD-WOMAN travels to America to dole out smacks to George Bush, current president of the United States. I'll also try to get everyone who voted for him. Wish me luck!! *smiles, winks and gives the camera the thumbs-up sign*
Hm... that sucked.
2004-01-28
Topic of the day: Emergency service my 455!!
CAA memberships are supposed to get you emergency 24hour road-side assistance. That's what the ads all claim. I've had a CAA membership for a few years now, and have never had to use it until last night. All I can say to that is 'Thank GOD!'
I had left school at midnight last night with the intention of going home. Go to my car, la la la, unlock door (lock was a tad frozen, but didn't pose any real difficulty), sat down in the car and put the key in the ignition. Engine whirred a bit and lights went on, but the car didn't start. Hmm... let's try this again, then. Keep in mind that the car had been sitting out since 8:30 that morning. Yes, for 15.5 hours. Also keep in mind that I had my car plugged in the WHOLE time, so I didn't quite understand why it would have such a hard time starting. Is simple: Cold weather makes battery go all freezy. Plug car in... battery remains unfreezy. Or it should. But mine didn't. Evil battery.
Well, of course, there's only one thing to do. Go into the school and phone for help. I was worried for a little bit there, because both doors that I'd tried were locked. But a security guy happened to be there and he let me in. So, that's that.
Then comes the question of who to call. Hm... it's midnight, car won't work, want to go home and sleep NOW... let's phone mommy. First thing she says is 'why didn't you phone CAA?' Now I'm pissed. So fine, I tell her to forget about it, I'll phone CAA for their emergency roadside assistance. Soon afterwards, I was forced to remember EXACTLY why I didn't phone CAA.
The phone rings, and rings... and then it's picked up. By a machine. Who says 'We're all busy now, but the next available operator will get to you.' Yuh uh. And then it plunks in all these ads 'Use CAA for travel planning, book a cruise through CAA, get the CAA mastercard'... NO BITCHES!! The bloody reason I got CAA in the first place was so that you guys could help me out if I EVER GET STUCK IN MY CAR!!! Now, I understand that winter is a very, VERY busy season for them... and so do they. So they should PLAN things a bit better and have WAY more operators around that time of year. I personally think there's something wrong with being stuck somewhere at midnight and having to wait on the phone A BLOODY HOUR just to finally hear a human voice.
The whole time I'm cursing the mechanical voices who do the ads, thinking 'You fuckers' each time that voice comes on saying 'Your call is important to us' and imagining a lonely desk in a shabby room somewhere with a phone on it that has me in the queue. And no one's answering that phone. Yep. Nice mental image. Call CAA... great bloody idea, mom. Thanks for coming to pick me up, mom. *grumble grumble censored censored censored*
Yeah. When I finally get the human voice, I ask how long it'll take for a service truck to come out. Only about four or five hours, as it turns out. Hm... No thank you, I'd like to get home before 6 AM!! Turns out you also can't make appointments for peoples to come out and see your car. Why not? My car's OBVIOUSLY not going anywhere... I'm OBVIOUSLY going to need it sometime. If, by some miracle, I DO happen to get my car started before you guys come (Hell, I could probably build a car with MY BARE HANDS by the time CAA comes to the rescue) I'll phone you and CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT!!!! *sigh* was not happy last night.
So, at 1 am, I decide to call a cab to come get me. Thankfully, they're not CAA... they'll send someone over in 10 - 12 minutes. That's WAY better than 4 - 5 hours. But NOW my mom chooses this time to show up. After I'd already waited for an hour and was convinced she wouldn't come. Thanks a bloody lot. Cancelled the cab... to no avail. I guess he pulled into the parking lot while I was turning back to tell them not to come, 'cause when I went back to the doors, I saw a cab pulling out of the parking lot. grr... was not happy, and was VERY vocal about it.
So, it's about 1:45 when I get home... much later when I get to sleep 'cause someone has a light on down the hall, people keep coming in and out of the house... was NOT happy this morning.
Now get this... calling CAA this afternoon, I got through in 15 mins. I was expecting an insanely long wait... I'd planned on making tea, making lunch, sitting down to a book... all with a phone to my ear. Nope. The person answered quickly (yay) and I was so distracted that I forgot about my eggs on the stove. Don't worry... Mel saved them. YAY FOR MEL!!
Yeah... CAA would send someone over to my car... at around 10:30 - 11:00 pm. At best, 9 hours later. Well, as far as my class schedual goes, this was perfect. All I had to do was find a garage to take the car to. Turns out Mel has a mechanic friend (again... YAY FOR MEL!!) who was more than willing to help me out. He even went to my car to try and get it started. And worked on it for well over an hour. And got it working!! YAY FOR OLLIE!! He's my new hero. And FUCK CAA!! So, I guess I had to phone them back to cancel the appointment.
It took me a half hour to even get to the QUEUE!! Every time I phoned it was TOTALLY busy... operators busy, queue full... try again later and good luck. After that point, it didn't take long to cancel the appointment. For some reason, the wait to CANCEL a service call is WAY shorter than the one to request aid. Huh... I wonder why. At least this time, the machine voice lady was telling people 'Yeah... we suck right now. We're way too busy for you, so try somewhere else and we'll maybe, possibly reimburse you if you phone the right people and sleep with our manager, are related to one of our operators, bribe at least 20 others, beg, plead, promise to name your first child after us and worship the dark lord. And when we say "dark lord" we mean "Paul Martin".' Emergency road-side assistance MY ASS!
What if it had been a REAL emergency?? What if someone left a baby in the car and ONLY had the number for CAA. I can just see that now
*ring ring goes the phone*
Lady: *frantic* Oh, god... please help me... I've locked my baby in the car!!
Phone machine voice: Thank you for calling CAA. If you need assistance, press 1. If you are planning a vacation, press 2. If you are phoning because you are a bastard and want to tie up the phone lines, press FUCK OFF!!
Lady: Please, please, I need help.
Phone voice: blah blah Advertisement blah blah Call is important blah blah blah (repeat for one hour)
Real actual person voice: Hello, how can I help you.
Lady: Please... I've left my baby in the car.
Real actual person voice: Uh huh... we'll have someone there in 7 to 8 hours.
Lady: but you DON'T understand! It's an EMERGENCY.
R.A.P.V: Uh huh. 7 to 8 hours.
*7 to 8 hours later*
CAA truck driving man: Ah, hello ma'am. How can I help you.
Lady: OPEN MY FUCKING CAR DOOR!!
CAA truck driving man: Okey dokey.
* 5 seconds later*
CAA truck driving man: Well, doors open. My, what a nice baby-shaped ice sculpture you have here. Wow... it looks almost life like!!
Lady: *sobbing hysterically*
CAA truck driving man: *oblivious. Damned men!!* There there, no need for tears of joy, ma'am. Just doing my duty. Well, it's a lucky thing it's so cold out. Otherwise, your baby-shaped ice sculpture would have melted by now. Well, bye bye now!! *walks away whistling*
Yeah... I can just see that.
La la la rant rant rant rant. And I'm spent.
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
CAA memberships are supposed to get you emergency 24hour road-side assistance. That's what the ads all claim. I've had a CAA membership for a few years now, and have never had to use it until last night. All I can say to that is 'Thank GOD!'
I had left school at midnight last night with the intention of going home. Go to my car, la la la, unlock door (lock was a tad frozen, but didn't pose any real difficulty), sat down in the car and put the key in the ignition. Engine whirred a bit and lights went on, but the car didn't start. Hmm... let's try this again, then. Keep in mind that the car had been sitting out since 8:30 that morning. Yes, for 15.5 hours. Also keep in mind that I had my car plugged in the WHOLE time, so I didn't quite understand why it would have such a hard time starting. Is simple: Cold weather makes battery go all freezy. Plug car in... battery remains unfreezy. Or it should. But mine didn't. Evil battery.
Well, of course, there's only one thing to do. Go into the school and phone for help. I was worried for a little bit there, because both doors that I'd tried were locked. But a security guy happened to be there and he let me in. So, that's that.
Then comes the question of who to call. Hm... it's midnight, car won't work, want to go home and sleep NOW... let's phone mommy. First thing she says is 'why didn't you phone CAA?' Now I'm pissed. So fine, I tell her to forget about it, I'll phone CAA for their emergency roadside assistance. Soon afterwards, I was forced to remember EXACTLY why I didn't phone CAA.
The phone rings, and rings... and then it's picked up. By a machine. Who says 'We're all busy now, but the next available operator will get to you.' Yuh uh. And then it plunks in all these ads 'Use CAA for travel planning, book a cruise through CAA, get the CAA mastercard'... NO BITCHES!! The bloody reason I got CAA in the first place was so that you guys could help me out if I EVER GET STUCK IN MY CAR!!! Now, I understand that winter is a very, VERY busy season for them... and so do they. So they should PLAN things a bit better and have WAY more operators around that time of year. I personally think there's something wrong with being stuck somewhere at midnight and having to wait on the phone A BLOODY HOUR just to finally hear a human voice.
The whole time I'm cursing the mechanical voices who do the ads, thinking 'You fuckers' each time that voice comes on saying 'Your call is important to us' and imagining a lonely desk in a shabby room somewhere with a phone on it that has me in the queue. And no one's answering that phone. Yep. Nice mental image. Call CAA... great bloody idea, mom. Thanks for coming to pick me up, mom. *grumble grumble censored censored censored*
Yeah. When I finally get the human voice, I ask how long it'll take for a service truck to come out. Only about four or five hours, as it turns out. Hm... No thank you, I'd like to get home before 6 AM!! Turns out you also can't make appointments for peoples to come out and see your car. Why not? My car's OBVIOUSLY not going anywhere... I'm OBVIOUSLY going to need it sometime. If, by some miracle, I DO happen to get my car started before you guys come (Hell, I could probably build a car with MY BARE HANDS by the time CAA comes to the rescue) I'll phone you and CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT!!!! *sigh* was not happy last night.
So, at 1 am, I decide to call a cab to come get me. Thankfully, they're not CAA... they'll send someone over in 10 - 12 minutes. That's WAY better than 4 - 5 hours. But NOW my mom chooses this time to show up. After I'd already waited for an hour and was convinced she wouldn't come. Thanks a bloody lot. Cancelled the cab... to no avail. I guess he pulled into the parking lot while I was turning back to tell them not to come, 'cause when I went back to the doors, I saw a cab pulling out of the parking lot. grr... was not happy, and was VERY vocal about it.
So, it's about 1:45 when I get home... much later when I get to sleep 'cause someone has a light on down the hall, people keep coming in and out of the house... was NOT happy this morning.
Now get this... calling CAA this afternoon, I got through in 15 mins. I was expecting an insanely long wait... I'd planned on making tea, making lunch, sitting down to a book... all with a phone to my ear. Nope. The person answered quickly (yay) and I was so distracted that I forgot about my eggs on the stove. Don't worry... Mel saved them. YAY FOR MEL!!
Yeah... CAA would send someone over to my car... at around 10:30 - 11:00 pm. At best, 9 hours later. Well, as far as my class schedual goes, this was perfect. All I had to do was find a garage to take the car to. Turns out Mel has a mechanic friend (again... YAY FOR MEL!!) who was more than willing to help me out. He even went to my car to try and get it started. And worked on it for well over an hour. And got it working!! YAY FOR OLLIE!! He's my new hero. And FUCK CAA!! So, I guess I had to phone them back to cancel the appointment.
It took me a half hour to even get to the QUEUE!! Every time I phoned it was TOTALLY busy... operators busy, queue full... try again later and good luck. After that point, it didn't take long to cancel the appointment. For some reason, the wait to CANCEL a service call is WAY shorter than the one to request aid. Huh... I wonder why. At least this time, the machine voice lady was telling people 'Yeah... we suck right now. We're way too busy for you, so try somewhere else and we'll maybe, possibly reimburse you if you phone the right people and sleep with our manager, are related to one of our operators, bribe at least 20 others, beg, plead, promise to name your first child after us and worship the dark lord. And when we say "dark lord" we mean "Paul Martin".' Emergency road-side assistance MY ASS!
What if it had been a REAL emergency?? What if someone left a baby in the car and ONLY had the number for CAA. I can just see that now
*ring ring goes the phone*
Lady: *frantic* Oh, god... please help me... I've locked my baby in the car!!
Phone machine voice: Thank you for calling CAA. If you need assistance, press 1. If you are planning a vacation, press 2. If you are phoning because you are a bastard and want to tie up the phone lines, press FUCK OFF!!
Lady: Please, please, I need help.
Phone voice: blah blah Advertisement blah blah Call is important blah blah blah (repeat for one hour)
Real actual person voice: Hello, how can I help you.
Lady: Please... I've left my baby in the car.
Real actual person voice: Uh huh... we'll have someone there in 7 to 8 hours.
Lady: but you DON'T understand! It's an EMERGENCY.
R.A.P.V: Uh huh. 7 to 8 hours.
*7 to 8 hours later*
CAA truck driving man: Ah, hello ma'am. How can I help you.
Lady: OPEN MY FUCKING CAR DOOR!!
CAA truck driving man: Okey dokey.
* 5 seconds later*
CAA truck driving man: Well, doors open. My, what a nice baby-shaped ice sculpture you have here. Wow... it looks almost life like!!
Lady: *sobbing hysterically*
CAA truck driving man: *oblivious. Damned men!!* There there, no need for tears of joy, ma'am. Just doing my duty. Well, it's a lucky thing it's so cold out. Otherwise, your baby-shaped ice sculpture would have melted by now. Well, bye bye now!! *walks away whistling*
Yeah... I can just see that.
La la la rant rant rant rant. And I'm spent.
2004-01-27
STORY:
Disclaimer: This is just a STORY!! Any characters/products/alternate universes/songs/movies etc., etc., that may be mentioned herewithin are used SOLEY for the purpose of this story. I do not claim to own (in part or in whole), advertise, sponser or, hell, sometimes even LIKE (take Cheerios, for instance) any of them. Don't sue, for you will get nothing but dryer lint in return.
One day, Theresa woke up gay. Then she got together with Lynnsey, Carla, Tannis and Chrissy, all of whom -coincidentally - also woke up gay. Then...
My brain: Wait a sec... this isn't the story I wanted to tell.
My fingers: Well, its the story we're typing.
My brain: NO!! You have to stop!!
My fingers: Why? *pout*
My brain: Because... my autobiography has to be written LATER!! Like, after I've done something!
My fingers:... Touché
THE REAL STORY:
Do not adjust your reality. It is perfectly fine. What I have to tell you may shock and horrify you, as it is shockingly horrifying. Then again, some of you may jump up and down in glee. You sick, sick bastards!!
The Theresa Beauchemin you once knew is gone forever, her life's story writes itself anew. Forget everything you knew about this meek, mediocre university student. Except for the fact that she woke up gay. That much is VERY important. While, during the day, her life appears to be more or less unchanged, I assure you this is NOT the case. For after the setting of the sun, when darkness and uncertainty prevail, she suddenly becomes... *drumroll*
SLAP-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD WOMAN!!! Yes, clad in her slap-upping outfit of black sneakers, black pants and a baggy black shirt, SLAP-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD WOMAN (SUTHW) stalks throughout streets and buildings dealing out much needed head-slaps to those who are in need of it. (Hm... was that phrase reduntant?? *rereads* NOPE!! *g*)
'What's so important about that?' You ask in a scoffing manner. 'Even I could slap people upside the head. And my slap-upping outfit would be BETTER than hers.' To which there can be only one reply.
*slaps you upside the head* You have been SLAP-UPSIDED, for you are being stupid and are also insignificant!! Of course you can slap people upside the head... but you are lacking the necessary judgement and SKILLS! *slaps you again* Did you not see the button on my shirt, which clearly says "It just so happens that I possess a real super power. Ask me how!!" Well... go on then... ask me!!
*crickets*
You all suck. *more crickets* Fine. It's not the same way as last time, where I ended up in a Day in the Life of Trigun, gained a super power and didn't bother justifying the cause. I was lazy then. And besides... that was simply a story. This is the real world now. Do you ever really read the back of Cheerio boxes in the morning?? Well, you should. They used to have a very interesting advertisement on the back. It said 'Become a superhero with real superpowers! Send in a million box tops of Cheerios along with $3.99 shipping and handling (U.S funds only), and we'll send you a superpower of your choice. (Allow 3 - 6 weeks for delivery).' Well, we all know that Cheerios can't lie, because they'd get sued so bad that the bee'd have to sell his stripes just to make ends meet for him and his hundreds of offspring. So, afer collecting and mailing in ONE MILLION BOX TOPS *puts pinky finger beside her mouth and smirks evilly* (god, I never want to see another Cheerio again), I got to choose my own superpower.
Now, I bet you the good (or, are they EVIL??) people at Cheerios were expecting that NOBODY would send in a million boxtops. And on the VERY unlikely chance that someone actually WOULD be that insanely crack-pottish, I'm sure they were expecting to receive simple, run-of-the-mill superpower requests such as invisibility or superhuman strength or spellchecking (no, that's NOT what I chose, although there's nothing wrong with it). They obviously were greviously unprepared for Me and My insane whims. Ladies and gents... now it is time to unveil my SPIFFY new superpower.
*drumroll. Tugs on braided cord attached to a dark read curtain. Nothing happens* Damn cord. *Tugs again* Damn curtain. *Tugs again* Damn homocidal rogue socks. Eh... who cares about the stupid curtaing. You all know there's nothing behind it... especially not my superpower. Ok... here goes. My superpower is...
The ability to transport myself to any time or place, fictional or real, and enter any situation in any book, fanfic, tv. show, movie, comic book etc. etc. etc. of my choosing, whenever I want, so I can do my good work. And what exactly is that good work. *Delivers you a slap-upping* DAMNIT, I ALREADY TOLD YOU. To find people, fictional or real, and deliver them a (or several, depending on the person) smack-upping as punishment for any stupid, wrong, mean, spiteful, cowardly, whiny, good-intentioned-but-got-shot-all-to-hell thing they may have done, said, thought, implied etc., in order to show them the error of their ways! BUAHAHAHA!! No one is safe.
For those of you who are thinking 'What about Theresa?? She's done some really slap-upping worthy things lately... so who's going to deliver HER some much needed slap-uppings??' I have only one answer for that.
I peridocially deliver slap-uppings to myself, just to be fair. Like I said... NO ONE is safe. Not even if you're already DEAD!!
BUAHAHAHA!!
Have a nice night, boys and girls.
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
Disclaimer: This is just a STORY!! Any characters/products/alternate universes/songs/movies etc., etc., that may be mentioned herewithin are used SOLEY for the purpose of this story. I do not claim to own (in part or in whole), advertise, sponser or, hell, sometimes even LIKE (take Cheerios, for instance) any of them. Don't sue, for you will get nothing but dryer lint in return.
One day, Theresa woke up gay. Then she got together with Lynnsey, Carla, Tannis and Chrissy, all of whom -coincidentally - also woke up gay. Then...
My brain: Wait a sec... this isn't the story I wanted to tell.
My fingers: Well, its the story we're typing.
My brain: NO!! You have to stop!!
My fingers: Why? *pout*
My brain: Because... my autobiography has to be written LATER!! Like, after I've done something!
My fingers:... Touché
THE REAL STORY:
Do not adjust your reality. It is perfectly fine. What I have to tell you may shock and horrify you, as it is shockingly horrifying. Then again, some of you may jump up and down in glee. You sick, sick bastards!!
The Theresa Beauchemin you once knew is gone forever, her life's story writes itself anew. Forget everything you knew about this meek, mediocre university student. Except for the fact that she woke up gay. That much is VERY important. While, during the day, her life appears to be more or less unchanged, I assure you this is NOT the case. For after the setting of the sun, when darkness and uncertainty prevail, she suddenly becomes... *drumroll*
SLAP-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD WOMAN!!! Yes, clad in her slap-upping outfit of black sneakers, black pants and a baggy black shirt, SLAP-UPSIDE-THE-HEAD WOMAN (SUTHW) stalks throughout streets and buildings dealing out much needed head-slaps to those who are in need of it. (Hm... was that phrase reduntant?? *rereads* NOPE!! *g*)
'What's so important about that?' You ask in a scoffing manner. 'Even I could slap people upside the head. And my slap-upping outfit would be BETTER than hers.' To which there can be only one reply.
*slaps you upside the head* You have been SLAP-UPSIDED, for you are being stupid and are also insignificant!! Of course you can slap people upside the head... but you are lacking the necessary judgement and SKILLS! *slaps you again* Did you not see the button on my shirt, which clearly says "It just so happens that I possess a real super power. Ask me how!!" Well... go on then... ask me!!
*crickets*
You all suck. *more crickets* Fine. It's not the same way as last time, where I ended up in a Day in the Life of Trigun, gained a super power and didn't bother justifying the cause. I was lazy then. And besides... that was simply a story. This is the real world now. Do you ever really read the back of Cheerio boxes in the morning?? Well, you should. They used to have a very interesting advertisement on the back. It said 'Become a superhero with real superpowers! Send in a million box tops of Cheerios along with $3.99 shipping and handling (U.S funds only), and we'll send you a superpower of your choice. (Allow 3 - 6 weeks for delivery).' Well, we all know that Cheerios can't lie, because they'd get sued so bad that the bee'd have to sell his stripes just to make ends meet for him and his hundreds of offspring. So, afer collecting and mailing in ONE MILLION BOX TOPS *puts pinky finger beside her mouth and smirks evilly* (god, I never want to see another Cheerio again), I got to choose my own superpower.
Now, I bet you the good (or, are they EVIL??) people at Cheerios were expecting that NOBODY would send in a million boxtops. And on the VERY unlikely chance that someone actually WOULD be that insanely crack-pottish, I'm sure they were expecting to receive simple, run-of-the-mill superpower requests such as invisibility or superhuman strength or spellchecking (no, that's NOT what I chose, although there's nothing wrong with it). They obviously were greviously unprepared for Me and My insane whims. Ladies and gents... now it is time to unveil my SPIFFY new superpower.
*drumroll. Tugs on braided cord attached to a dark read curtain. Nothing happens* Damn cord. *Tugs again* Damn curtain. *Tugs again* Damn homocidal rogue socks. Eh... who cares about the stupid curtaing. You all know there's nothing behind it... especially not my superpower. Ok... here goes. My superpower is...
The ability to transport myself to any time or place, fictional or real, and enter any situation in any book, fanfic, tv. show, movie, comic book etc. etc. etc. of my choosing, whenever I want, so I can do my good work. And what exactly is that good work. *Delivers you a slap-upping* DAMNIT, I ALREADY TOLD YOU. To find people, fictional or real, and deliver them a (or several, depending on the person) smack-upping as punishment for any stupid, wrong, mean, spiteful, cowardly, whiny, good-intentioned-but-got-shot-all-to-hell thing they may have done, said, thought, implied etc., in order to show them the error of their ways! BUAHAHAHA!! No one is safe.
For those of you who are thinking 'What about Theresa?? She's done some really slap-upping worthy things lately... so who's going to deliver HER some much needed slap-uppings??' I have only one answer for that.
I peridocially deliver slap-uppings to myself, just to be fair. Like I said... NO ONE is safe. Not even if you're already DEAD!!
BUAHAHAHA!!
Have a nice night, boys and girls.
It was January 27th, 2004. *imitates Bush* A day that shall forever... live in infamy. *stops. I can already feel my self getting dumber and wanting to blow countries up* From that day forward, live was never the same for students, teachers, administrators and a wealth of other people. Yes, it was the day of the disappearance of ALL of mankind's staplers.
Even as we speak, innocent staplers are being held - against their will - in dark rooms behind locked doors. Those that were lucky enough to evade capture sadly lost all their staples in the process. My fellow Bloggerians, we cannot allow these heartless, cowardly acts to continue. It goes against all that our society holds dear, against all morals that we may have, against the common good of Bloggerians everywhere and peoples of other online journals.
In response to this senless act of stapler imprisonment, we shall seek out any country that we suspect to have staplers of mass stapling-capacity, whether or not our suspicions prove to be correct or even justified. We shall then bomb them and occupy their countries (until such a day when we become an 'invited presence') and utilise their vast stapling resources. This is for the common good of all Bloggerians, and we will prevail!!
All this to say... someone PLEASE find me a fricken' stapler so I can hand in my homework. *sigh*
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
Even as we speak, innocent staplers are being held - against their will - in dark rooms behind locked doors. Those that were lucky enough to evade capture sadly lost all their staples in the process. My fellow Bloggerians, we cannot allow these heartless, cowardly acts to continue. It goes against all that our society holds dear, against all morals that we may have, against the common good of Bloggerians everywhere and peoples of other online journals.
In response to this senless act of stapler imprisonment, we shall seek out any country that we suspect to have staplers of mass stapling-capacity, whether or not our suspicions prove to be correct or even justified. We shall then bomb them and occupy their countries (until such a day when we become an 'invited presence') and utilise their vast stapling resources. This is for the common good of all Bloggerians, and we will prevail!!
All this to say... someone PLEASE find me a fricken' stapler so I can hand in my homework. *sigh*
2004-01-25
You are going to Marry orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anythind
cheesy look really good (like sliding down
stairs on a shield shooting arrows or wearing
pointy ears for example). Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Hm... really can't complain. No, really, really, REALLY can't complain. One question, though. Can I marry him, Elijah Woods, Tom Cruise, James Marsters and Hugh Jackman? Yes?? SCORE!!!!
Nerdslut
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sexual appeal? Huh?? What's that?
Congratulations! You're Sam!
Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmm... well, at least I'm not Gollum. (My pressssssscious)
Your Miroku! all that matters in life is who is
going to be your next boyfriend/girlfriend and
where to take him/her next. Not to worry
though, because you are bright and you do your
school work. And hey, you even have a fan club!
What Inuyasha Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I do my what the hell?? School WORK?!?! Huh... there's a novel concept. And by that, I don't mean that I should write a book about it. That would require more of this 'work' thing. And I'm spent. And I hate it when quizzes don't show all possible results. What if I want to cheat just to get someone else??? Hm... I think I like this one better.
Your Sesshoumaru! you are calm and collected and
you don't show any emotion at all. But inside
we all know you are a softy, it's just a matter
of showing it to everyone else. Be open once in
a while and maybe even date one of your many
fans!
What Inuyasha Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your Heart is Black
What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
My my my, how happy.
There was another one I took called "r u the chick 4 me?" Turns out, the answer is "Hell No!!" *whew* I was really worried for a minute there. Cheated just to see what would happen. Turns out, if you ARE the chick for him (or is it her?? Don't really know) he/she gives you his/her e-mail address and basically says "Let's hook up, and btw, give this quiz a good rating." Loser. I mock you now what with my pointing and mocking. BUAHAHAHA!! God, I'd hate to see the poor schmuck who has to advertise himself over an internet quiz. *shudders*
I should stop now, but I've really missed having Internet. I don't want this wonderful, wonderful time to end. Eh.. you're all boring. Going now.
And I'm spent.
YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!
what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla
People told me to post on my blog. So I did. Then I ate them. So there.
Well, what's new in my life, you ask? Well, no, you didn't, but my Rice Crispies did, so I'll tell yous all.
Went to Hawaii. Was fun. Very fun. Yes, be jealous. Spent Christmas day on the beach, soaking up the rays. BUAHAHAHA!!!! Went to pearl Harbour, Parasailing, snorkeling at Hanauma Bay (oooh.... fishies!!) and did shopping, shopping and more shopping. Went to the beach. Lots of fun stuffs. Buahaha!!!
What else? I'm back in school... hate it. Stupid school. I also found out my kitty has cancer. So sad. Stupid malignant cancer cells. She also seems to be very senile. I also forgot about my friend, Chrissy's, birthday. Evil, evil me. Felt so sad and kicked my self up and down the street. Yeah, I'm an awful person. But then I bought her stuff and chocolately cake, so I hope she's forgiven me. (Please please please). I also took her to club Regent casino, where she won big. Yep, a whole 10 bucks. Whereas I lost 1.25$ I'm such an addict.
Did stuffs for Lynn's birthday yesterday. Funny thing is, SHE forgot about hers and people had to remind her. Now I wish I'd forgotten about hers instead of Chrissy's. At least Lynn wouldn't have been able to hold it against me. I'm so bad. We went to Rumors, and the guy there was pretty funny. Good food too. Yum.
Anything else new with me??? No?? Okay then... I'll go now. And stop bitching for me to update the blog, already. I've done it. WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME???!?!?!?!?!?!?!
And that's that.
2004-01-15
sorry, just had to put this quote. I thought it was kinda funny. Eh... what do I know.
RE: Ask Doctor Honeydew (yup... the guy from Muppets)
What is the average life span of a snow man
- Freezing in Fargo
*insert most of answer here*
... So, the answer to your question is that the life span of a snowman, under the right conditions, is endless. But, even under normal conditions, when snowmen melt, that doesn't mean they're gone; they've just evolved into another form, liquid. So remember, next time you wash your hands, you're using a snowman to keep clean.
I liked that last line. So bite me!! You can see others like this on www.muppets.com/honeydew/honeydew.htm
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
RE: Ask Doctor Honeydew (yup... the guy from Muppets)
What is the average life span of a snow man
- Freezing in Fargo
*insert most of answer here*
... So, the answer to your question is that the life span of a snowman, under the right conditions, is endless. But, even under normal conditions, when snowmen melt, that doesn't mean they're gone; they've just evolved into another form, liquid. So remember, next time you wash your hands, you're using a snowman to keep clean.
I liked that last line. So bite me!! You can see others like this on www.muppets.com/honeydew/honeydew.htm
2004-01-14
So, remember that long-ago blog contest, 'A day in the life of my favorite anime', that I submitted over a month late?? Yeah... it just finally got judged recently. Tannis' peeps didn't really want to judge it, and Tannis didn't want the losers to kill her for not picking them. Wuss. So, she just declared us ALL winners. YAY!! Which is nice, 'cause I'da lost anyways. So I now have a blog button. Let's hope this works.
....
life hates me. *pout*
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
....
life hates me. *pout*
2004-01-13
Oh... my... god...
I STILL haven't finished my 'Trip to Mall of America' post. GAH!! I am SO behind. 'Specially since I have to fit a trip to Hawaii in there somewhere. *sigh* So much to do, so much procrastination. For those of you who don't know me (which is no one since only people I know visit this blog, I think...) I have a love/hate relationship with procrastination. The bitch won't leave me alone. My New Year's resolution was 'No more procrastination. And find James Marsters.' Pfft. I may as well have made a resolution that I'd be more likely to keep, such as 'No more BREATHING!!'
Well, Mall of America. God, do I still remember?? Went shopping (duh), and Lynn had a crap load of bags. Seriously. This was how it went.
Lynnsey: Oooh.... useless crap. Must buy!!!
Me & Carla: Meh.
Yeah. So we shopped and saw Lego place a bit. Didn't do much in Camp Snoopy 'cause we were tired from shopping. The mall had an underwater adventure (think fish tank tunnel thing in Club Regent Casino, only way bigger), and I really wanted to go. So did Lynn. Carla just wanted to sit in a bookstore and read manga. Nerd. So we left Carla in the bookstore and went on the underwater adventure thingie. Was cool. Lotsa fishies. YAY FISHIES!! But they had some really WEIRD-ASS Minnesota lake fish, like a thing that looked like an alligator with fins and another one that had a weird duck-bill thing going on. Strange.
There was also a tank with cooler fish (or rather 'aquatic life'), such as sharks and sting rays. HUGE sting rays. And the sharks were kinda freaky... all of a sudden you look above you and there's this shark looming over your head, dozens of teeth peeking out of it's mouth. And it wasn't even opening it's mouth or anything. Call me crazy, but I think it's a bad thing when a fish has so many teeth that they can't even all fit in it's mouth. Eep.
At the end of the tunnel there was a light. Go towards the light!! Kidding. There was some more stuff to see, like a tank with a HUGE lobster (mmm... lobster), one with clown fish (NEMO!!) and another with Jellyfish (he shall be mine, and I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be my Squishy). And then they had, of all things, a petting zoo... well, tank. Yeah. With sharks and sting-rays in it. Now... generally, petting sharks and sting-rays is not my idea of family fun. 'Hey, kids, let's all play with this shark. Oh... he bit little Billy's hand off... isn't that cute. Aw... buck up, Billy, that's why you've got two of them.' On the plus side, they were small sharks and sting-rays, and I had been reassured that the rays had their stingers removed and the sharks couldn't bite anyone (yeah, and politicians can't be stupid. Pfft). Ah well, what the heck. So, I put my hand in the water and let the things swim by. Then I actually got up the nerve to touch one. It went like this...
Me: *Touches ray* Eeek... you're slimey!!!!
Lynn: *does the same thing*
Me: See above.
Me: *Touches ray* Hey, you actually feel kinda cool. I kinda like this.
To this day, I still want a pet sting-ray. He can live in the bath tub. And I now have a new appreciation for the movie Finding Nemo. I see Mr.Ray and I'm all like... 'Oh... I want to take you home as a pet.' Mom says I can have a sting ray... when I move out. No fun.
Anyways, moving on. After we were all spent, we went out to catch the shuttle back to our hotel (which, by the way, we almost didn't find out that we had to sign up for it. Stupid hotel people). I was all worried that we'd missed it, because I didn't figure that it would come ALMOST AN HOUR LATE. Grr. We kept looking hopefully at shuttle-buses 'Are you our bus? Are you our bus?' Plus, it was snowing, but not too cold. Then we went to the hotel room, did unimportent, yet fun, crap. We left the next day, and it was a long drive home. But fun. Good music, good friends. Goodness all around. And that was Minneapolis. In November. Next time (God knows when that will be)... HAWAII!! WHEE!! Everyone hates me when I tell them this.
And I'm spent!! ;)
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
I STILL haven't finished my 'Trip to Mall of America' post. GAH!! I am SO behind. 'Specially since I have to fit a trip to Hawaii in there somewhere. *sigh* So much to do, so much procrastination. For those of you who don't know me (which is no one since only people I know visit this blog, I think...) I have a love/hate relationship with procrastination. The bitch won't leave me alone. My New Year's resolution was 'No more procrastination. And find James Marsters.' Pfft. I may as well have made a resolution that I'd be more likely to keep, such as 'No more BREATHING!!'
Well, Mall of America. God, do I still remember?? Went shopping (duh), and Lynn had a crap load of bags. Seriously. This was how it went.
Lynnsey: Oooh.... useless crap. Must buy!!!
Me & Carla: Meh.
Yeah. So we shopped and saw Lego place a bit. Didn't do much in Camp Snoopy 'cause we were tired from shopping. The mall had an underwater adventure (think fish tank tunnel thing in Club Regent Casino, only way bigger), and I really wanted to go. So did Lynn. Carla just wanted to sit in a bookstore and read manga. Nerd. So we left Carla in the bookstore and went on the underwater adventure thingie. Was cool. Lotsa fishies. YAY FISHIES!! But they had some really WEIRD-ASS Minnesota lake fish, like a thing that looked like an alligator with fins and another one that had a weird duck-bill thing going on. Strange.
There was also a tank with cooler fish (or rather 'aquatic life'), such as sharks and sting rays. HUGE sting rays. And the sharks were kinda freaky... all of a sudden you look above you and there's this shark looming over your head, dozens of teeth peeking out of it's mouth. And it wasn't even opening it's mouth or anything. Call me crazy, but I think it's a bad thing when a fish has so many teeth that they can't even all fit in it's mouth. Eep.
At the end of the tunnel there was a light. Go towards the light!! Kidding. There was some more stuff to see, like a tank with a HUGE lobster (mmm... lobster), one with clown fish (NEMO!!) and another with Jellyfish (he shall be mine, and I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be my Squishy). And then they had, of all things, a petting zoo... well, tank. Yeah. With sharks and sting-rays in it. Now... generally, petting sharks and sting-rays is not my idea of family fun. 'Hey, kids, let's all play with this shark. Oh... he bit little Billy's hand off... isn't that cute. Aw... buck up, Billy, that's why you've got two of them.' On the plus side, they were small sharks and sting-rays, and I had been reassured that the rays had their stingers removed and the sharks couldn't bite anyone (yeah, and politicians can't be stupid. Pfft). Ah well, what the heck. So, I put my hand in the water and let the things swim by. Then I actually got up the nerve to touch one. It went like this...
Me: *Touches ray* Eeek... you're slimey!!!!
Lynn: *does the same thing*
Me: See above.
Me: *Touches ray* Hey, you actually feel kinda cool. I kinda like this.
To this day, I still want a pet sting-ray. He can live in the bath tub. And I now have a new appreciation for the movie Finding Nemo. I see Mr.Ray and I'm all like... 'Oh... I want to take you home as a pet.' Mom says I can have a sting ray... when I move out. No fun.
Anyways, moving on. After we were all spent, we went out to catch the shuttle back to our hotel (which, by the way, we almost didn't find out that we had to sign up for it. Stupid hotel people). I was all worried that we'd missed it, because I didn't figure that it would come ALMOST AN HOUR LATE. Grr. We kept looking hopefully at shuttle-buses 'Are you our bus? Are you our bus?' Plus, it was snowing, but not too cold. Then we went to the hotel room, did unimportent, yet fun, crap. We left the next day, and it was a long drive home. But fun. Good music, good friends. Goodness all around. And that was Minneapolis. In November. Next time (God knows when that will be)... HAWAII!! WHEE!! Everyone hates me when I tell them this.
And I'm spent!! ;)
2004-01-03
Yep... I'm still alive. Despite your best efforts. Buah! BUAHAHAHAHA!! Bush. Don't ask... it's Lynnsey's fault. Everything's Lynnsey's fault. YOu know global warming... Lynnsey's fault!! Darn her. And I'm spent. And tanned. Wheee!!
(0) Psychos who've actually visited my Blog
